Saturday, August 20, 2011

My World is Flat

Dear Jimmy,

Returned home late last night from the most awesome vacation. I thank you for your considerable contribution to this holiday away. Your breakfasts were sublime and I could really go for one now thankyouverymuch.

The adventures we had were awesome (ah, there I go again), but it's true. Since leaving Chez Glen we had lots of other experiences that were pretty damn good as well.

It must be said however, as the bus drove us from Chicago northward toward our beloved Hacienda Nap-Law that I learned to truly appreciate two things: 1) the Midwest is flat, flat, flat compared with the rugged coast of Scotland and 2) there are two enormous fireworks stores along the freeway that would take up a city block of shops if dropped in the heart of Edinburgh. The irony of having not one but two firework stores is that technically, selling fireworks above a certain size is illegal. So what they may be selling in these massive stores (located in the middle of nowhere) is beyond me. It must also be noted that the parking lots surrounding these stores each contain the approximate number of parking stalls contained within the downtown of E-burgh.

After we got to our car and drove the freeway (the US version of a motorway, not to be confused with a tollway as found in Illinois, hence the "free." Moving on.), I realized that we (in the US) are a convenience-based society - we are extremely willing to remove existing bits of established city to ease our ability to travel. Veteran's cemetery? No problem - we shall solemnly and gently move it to a location a bit more out of the way as we need to push more cars through during the rush hour. (Note that rush hour in M-Town is when you have to touch the brakes during your ride home from the office which we find unacceptable and grumble-worthy.) After exiting onto one of the last main roads before we got to our eerily quite subdivision, John pointed out that Highway 100 (pronounced "highway a-hunnert") is as wide as a motorway (three lanes in both directions). Yet there are signs posted along Hwy 100 that protest the future expansion of that road from three lanes in each direction to four. This will require tearing down and rebuilding many of the businesses - including the lovely historical building on the corner which now houses a pub with very good food (history as defined in the US so it's over 100 years old! Watch us oooooh and ahhhhhh!).

Within minutes we arrived at our vintage 1950's tri-level surrounded by other vintage architectural nightmares (all painted in a color I believe is named Sad Brown) and sighed the glorious sigh of being *home*. There ain't nothing quite like it.

All for now, more later.

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